Opening Lines

The start of the speech really is your opportunity to grab everyone’s attention. Your first 30 seconds is your jumping off point and will set the tone for the rest of your speech. A confident start and an early laugh will settle your nerves and you will start to enjoy the fact you are delivering a well-rehearsed DesignerSpeech!



GET YOUR FIRST LAUGH


A confident start and an early laugh will settle your nerves and you will start to enjoy the fact you are delivering a well-rehearsed DesignerSpeech!


Get Your First Laugh Teasers


1. Ladies & Gentleman – the best man’s job is a pretty nerve wracking experience – however I think the key is preparation and therefore for your delectation I took it upon myself to practice until I got the speech nailed on. So I popped a long to a few clubs/societies where they encourage people to stand up & speak in front of a group of people. So Monday I went along to Alcoholics Anonomous, Tuesday I went along to Gay & Lesbian Society & Wednesday was Tourette’s R US. So the first person I must apologise to is Alan who is hearing this speech for a fourth time!
2. Ladies & Gentleman – My name is Neil & I am your best man. You will have to forgive me as I have not done any public speaking before although I did do a speech at the Alzheimer’s society recently. It went down pretty well. Ok so welcome to Gavin & Stacey’s wedding. It has been a fabulous occasion I am sure you will all agree. You will have to forgive me as I have not done any public speaking before although I did do a speech at the Alzheimer’s society recently. It went down pretty well.
3. Ladies & Gentleman – thank you for that wonderful reception. You seem more excited than me and I know what’s coming. Can I first comment on how wonderful all the ladies look today. I didn’t know JD sports did an evening wear range but there you go.

Get Your First Laugh 4-10



4. Ladies & Gentleman – My name is Smithy and I am Gavin’s best man. Let’s start as…

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Get Your First Laugh 11-20



11. Ladies & Gentleman – Before I start my speech I think it is important to highlight that…

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Get Your First Laugh 21-30



21. Ladies & Gentleman – despite the rugged good looks and the underwhelming wit and repartee…

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Get Your First Laugh 31-40



31. Ladies & Gentlemen. I have researched numerous speeches in my time and it seems the success…

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Get Your First Laugh 41-50



41. Ladies and Gentleman – I need to take care of some fundamentals before I publically crucify…

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Get Your First Laugh 51-60



51.Ladies and Gentlemen – I have been given my instructions by our beautiful bride Stacey. She…

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Get Your First Laugh 61-70



61. Ladies & Gentleman it gives me great pleasure to stand before you today as the best man.…

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Get Your First Laugh 71-80



71. Ladies & Gentleman – I am absolutely speechless! Don’t misunderstand me I have prepared…

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Get Your First Laugh 81-90



81. Ladies & Gentleman – The best man’s speech I am told is an opportunity for me to…

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Get Your First Laugh 91-100



91. Ladies & Gentleman – Well here I stand for the first time in my life in a position of…

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Get Your First Laugh 101-110


101. Ladies and Gentlemen – I would like to dispense with the necessary thank yous immediately…

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Get Your First Laugh 111-122



111. Ladies and gentlemen – I have my instructions from the beautiful bride not to upset you the…

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THE CONFIDENCE TRICK


If you appear confident the crowd will assume you are and respond accordingly and this has the effect of actually installing confidence in you delivering the rest of your speech. The following are examples of a strong confident Best Man. Remember you’re not Elvis and this isn’t Vegas (well it might be) but deliver with your tongue firmly in cheek and the crowd will get the joke!


The Confidence Trick Teasers


1. Ladies & Gentleman – it is an honour and a privilege to be here…I would imagine!

2. Ladies & Gentleman – My first words should bear tribute to a wonderful Groom who has proven himself to be a confident, charming, well-adjusted young man. This might come as a bit of a surprise to you all but I should point out that it is proven fact that when two best friends spend anything more than what is regarded as a normal amount of time together, then the traits and characteristics of the dominant male will rub off on the subservient one.
3. Ladies & Gentleman – For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Neil and I am the best man today. Well educated, well spoken, a connoisseur of good wine and good literature…women want him and men want to be like him…this is why I would like to think Gavin asked me to be the best man but it is actually how he asked me to introduce him. The truth about both of us, is, as your about to discover, a little different.

The Confidence Trick 4-10



4. Ladies Gentleman – Chiseled good looks, manners, sparkling wit, money in the bank, the kind of…

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The Confidence Trick 11-20



11. Ladies & Gentleman as you can see standing before you is obviously a man who likes to take…

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The Confidence Trick 21-30



21. Ladies & Gentleman – Gavin really is the luckiest man alive. Not only does he get to…

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The Confidence Trick 31-40



31. Ladies and Gentlemen – my name is Smithy and I am the best man which is convenient for…

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BEST MAN NERVES


There is nothing wrong with being nervous and the chances are if you are not then you probably have too much confidence in your speech. Not only is there nothing wrong with having nerves but admitting to having nerves in your speech is a good way to get your audience on side.


Best Man Nerves Teasers


1. Ladies & Gentleman – The word Gavin is experiencing now is called Schadenfreude. As defined in the dictionary – a pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. Look at his little smile. He knows that by asking me to be his best man I would have to face my fears and stand in front of a big crowd and deliver a speech. I can be honest now and tell you ladies and gentleman that I am absolutely schhhhhhhhh….adenfrauding in my pants. Keep smiling Gav – my goal for the next few minutes if to wipe it off your face!
2.
Ladies & Gentleman – please forgive me but I am a little nervous as this speech is a little bit lastminute.com. Little did I know how demanding Gavin could be and his Groomzilla behavior has left me little time to prep for this most grueling, creative and some would say impossible task – standing in front of a crowd and saying nice things about him.

Best Man Nerves 3-10



3. Ladies & Gentlemen- I’d like to settle my nerves by opening a few cards and well wishes…

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Best Man Nerves 11-20



11. Ladies and Gentlemen – You will be pleased to hear I have eradicated all my nerves for this…

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Best Man Nerves 21-33



21. Ladies & Gentleman – When Gavin asked me to be his best man my natural instinct was…

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MANAGE EXPECTATIONS


SET THE BAR LOW & SOAR OVER IT!!! Something you need to remember is that the crowd are willing you to deliver them an entertaining speech. They aren’t expecting Peter Kay or Jerry Seinfeld and if you find a way to lower their expectations even further by highlighting your lack of experience or making a joke at your own expense you are only likely to endear yourself to them even more before you over deliver with DesignerSpeech material. Here is a nice selection that will achieve the desired result.


Manage Expectation Teasers


1. Ladies & Gentleman – I know a lot of best man insist on audience members turning their mobiles phones off during the bestman speech. However I would politely request that you feel free to not only keep them on but if you lose interest in what I am saying then treat yourself to a game of angry birds or facebook your friends to keep yourselves entertained. I’m performing today for free and I am sure you will agree I am worth every penny!
2. Ladies & gentlemen, there is good news and there is bad news. The bad news is that as an array of ex-girlfriends will testify to I have never been renowned for my stamina or indeed length. The good news though is that my performances often induce a laugh out loud response. I am hoping I can combine the two for your delectation and delight today.
3. Ladies and Gentlemen – I have been told that my speech making skills are second only to my ability to charm the ladies. I should at this stage tell you my relationship status on facebook reads ‘single’ and the last time my bedroom saw any action was when Trevor had a full head of hair.

Manage Expectations 4-10



4. Ladies & Gentleman – I am little nervous this speech might not meet your expectations and…

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Manage Expectations 11-20



11. Ladies & Gentleman – I did not volunteer for this best man gig. Gavin has chosen me as…

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Manage Expectations 21-30



21. Ladies and gentlemen – I think your applause is premature but nevertheless well received…

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Manage Expectations 31-40



31. Ladies and Gentleman – I think today proves that looks can indeed be deceiving. While it may…

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Manage Expectations 41-50



41. Ladies Gentleman – I am standing here today as an emergency best man. When Stacey stipulated…

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APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION


The Best Man speech should definitely include stories to cause the groom some embarrassment & the opening of the speech is an excellent opportunity for you to let your crowd know their appetite for this sort of content will soon be satisfied and give the groom an indication that his reputation is soon to be in tatters…in the nicest possible way of course!


Appetite For Destruction Teasers


1. Ladies and gentlemen – I have my instructions from the beautiful bride not to upset you the guests by revealing any sordid tales of Gavin’s past and indeed just concentrating and conveying to you his positive attributes. I consulted all close associates of Gavin and what your about to hear is a tale of heroism, intelligence and ultimately a tale of complete and utter fiction that JK Rowling would be proud of.
2. Ladies & Gentleman – As I look at my best mate sat next to his gorgeous bride I cannot help think that Oscar Wilde had it exactly right when he said the following. ‘If we men married the women we deserved, we should have a very bad time of it’

Appetite For Destruction 3-10



3. Ladies & Gentleman – My name is Neil, I am your best man today and research tells me the…

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Appetite For Destruction 11-20



11. Ladies & Gentleman – I have had to rewrite the start of my speech because I find myself…

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Appetite For Destruction 21-33



21. Ladies & Gentlemen – As Trevor passes on the speech baton in style I should announce that…

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STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART


If you are not comfortable telling jokes & would prefer a more traditional and conservative opener then there is absolutely nothing wrong with this approach. A speech that is sincere & friendly is another great way to get the audience on your side. This is pretty simple and really no need for that many pointers here. Say something that is genuine and from the heart and it will come across that way. If your speech is littered with gags you don’t want people thinking you don’t mean it or it is a set up for another joke so feel free to preempt this by acknowledging that you are about to say something sentimental & you will maximize the effect of your words.


Straight From The Heart Teaser


1. Ladies & Gentleman – My name is Neil & I am your best man today and although some of you may not know me, we all share one thing in coming and that is the privilege of being part of Stacey or Gavin’s life. I am sure you will not mind me speaking on everyone’s behalf to say it has been a wonderful occasion and to be witness to you two getting married is something that we will all remember for a long time.

Straight From The Heart 2-10



2. Ladies & Gentleman – everyone knows I like to have a laugh but I would like to say in all…

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